ShidON

can't blame a lack of inspiration

2009-01-04T22:11:00.002+08:00

nearly 2 months.

and my last post wasn't even me but a beautiful quote from Baha'u'llah... definitely better :)

but so much has happened in the last 2 months.

in THE world, and in MY world.

and its so interesting how the two are so connected..

we are 6 billion.. it seems so vast when i say it and think about it.

but amazingly we all play a role in everyone else's life.

i still don't know what my role is.

its funny i was looking at the first intention with which i started this blog.

and it was a good one indeed.

to search.

but the answer to my search is still an 'i really don't know'.

not an 'i don't know' who i am.

that one was sorted when i was 17. i still remember that exact moment, place, thoughts, feelings, sensations, and spirit with which i came to know Who made me and where i come from, and really why i am here. this i am sure of.

but my 'i really don't know' refers to the idea of 'will i make it or not'.

will i manage to be strong, to love, to be honest, to be just, to be faithful, to be worthy of the trust of people, to be pure, to be generous, to be guarded in my speech, to be an answer to who needs help, to be a light unto them that walk in darkness, a smile for the sad, a sea for the thirsty, a fruit on the tree of humility?

i think that since coming to china i have learned a lot of new things, and have experienced wonderful moments as well as harder ones... i have changed and grown.

but some deeper things of who i am have yet to make that change... in the sense that this experience is not what will change you.it gives you that chance to see what you need to work on...

a change in setting will not do the trick as i once foolishly believed... rather it just highlighted my limitations.. i guess its good. its a bath in the ever-refreshing sea of humility. i hope i am swimming in it.

hope you all (if any of you are left) are doing well.

love you all.

shidON

I'm a bad blogger...

2008-11-13T16:48:00.002+08:00

Not much time really.. love to all. enjoy this. better for you to read Him rather than me. i love this.

ShidON

There was once a lover who had sighed for long years in separation from his beloved, and wasted in the fire of remoteness. From the rule of love, his heart was empty of patience, and his body weary of his spirit; he reckoned life without her as a mockery, and time consumed him away. How many a day he found no rest in longing for her; how many a night the pain of her kept him from sleep; his body was worn to a sigh, his heart's wound had turned him to a cry of sorrow. He had given a thousand lives for one taste of the cup of her presence, but it availed him not. The doctors knew no cure for him, and companions avoided his company; yea, physicians have no medicine for one sick of love, unless the favor of the beloved one deliver him.

At last, the tree of his longing yielded the fruit of despair, and the fire of his hope fell to ashes. Then one night he could live no more, and he went out of his house and made for the marketplace. On a sudden, a watchman followed after him. He broke into a run, with the watchman following; then other watchmen came together, and barred every passage to the weary one. And the wretched one cried from his heart, and ran here and there, and moaned to himself: "Surely this watchman is Izra'il, my angel of death, following so fast upon me; or he is a tyrant of men, seeking to harm me." His feet carried him on, the one bleeding with the arrow of love, and his heart lamented. Then he came to a garden wall, and with untold pain he scaled it, for it proved very high; and forgetting his life, he threw himself down to the garden.

And there he beheld his beloved with a lamp in her hand, searching for a ring she had lost. When the heart-surrendered lover looked on his ravishing love, he drew a great breath and raised up his hands in prayer, crying: "O God! Give Thou glory to the watchman, and riches and long life. For the watchman was Gabriel, guiding this poor one; or he was Israfil, bringing life to this wretched one!"

Indeed, his words were true, for he had found many a secret justice in this seeming tyranny of the watchman, and seen how many a mercy lay hid behind the veil. Out of wrath, the guard had led him who was athirst in love's desert to the sea of his loved one, and lit up the dark night of absence with the light of reunion. He had driven one who was afar, into the garden of nearness, had guided an ailing soul to the heart's physician.

Now if the lover could have looked ahead, he would have blessed the watchman at the start, and prayed on his behalf, and he would have seen that tyranny as justice; but since the end was veiled to him, he moaned and made his plaint in the beginning. Yet those who journey in the garden land of knowledge, because they see the end in the beginning, see peace in war and friendliness in anger.

Baha'u'llah

dream world

2008-10-08T08:17:00.004+08:00

'Consider thy state when asleep. Verily, I say, this phenomenon is the most mysterious of the signs of God amongst men, were they to ponder it in their hearts.'

Baha'u'llah

Now i am no teacher or scholar or anything like that. But i encourage all of you to go pick up your copy of 'The Gleanings' (if you have one good, if not google it) and read quote LXXIX.

Baha'u'llah tells us in this passage of the infinite worlds that exist in creation.

He says that they 'are countless in their number, and infinite in their range'

He says that dreams are just one of these infinite worlds...

And then He goes on to explain the nature of dreams.. of how they are part of who we are and also a sign of God's generosity to man, because they allow us to transcend this life.

He tells us that dreams can in another world and in mysterious ways tell us about the future.

They are a world as concrete as the one we breathe and live in.

He tells us that 'the creation of God embraceth worlds besides this world, and creatures apart from these creatures'

I guess it means that other creatures are given other insights into creation.. maybe not through dreams! who knows!! exciting eh? i wonder what our alien brothers are like!

all i am trying to say is that we should cherish our dreams cause they are a gift of God and a way to get a deeper understanding of life. so when you have one, dig into it and understand what its saying. also if it is not a pleasant one! just look into it. maybe its telling you that you need to change!

get rid of ego because it is what brings us down! in fact Baha'u'llah also says at the end of the tablet that He does not go deeper into explanations of the worlds because of how mankind behaved!

finally it says that we should meditate on what Baha'u'llah tells us in this tablet so that we may discover the purpose of God... wow. what does this mean? any ideas?

dreaming

ShidON

Sunshine Everywhere!

2008-10-01T11:22:00.004+08:00

I come from italy. I have lived in china for 1 month now...
I told a friend last night! and he said that if after 1 month i am still fine with life here, it means that i will have to stay for a long time. This is my hope as all of you know! So let's see where all of this goes.

My name is You Shi Dan (Honest Dawn). Who knows me, knows that it is a bit over the top :)

My name is really not giving a good picture of who i am i guess.

Rather i think my name is my hope, my wish and my desire for life... to be truthful in my intentions and in my actions... i am still far from it... oh so far.

Furthermore, as imperfect as i am, i just want to be surrounded by Sunshine.

"When a man turns his face to God, he finds Sunshine Everywhere"

Abdu'l-Baha'

To be surrounded by Sunshine there is only one thing to do and that is to forget self.

To get rid of all those attitudes in life that push us to be 'individuals'... and to become part of this unifying life and creation!

It is such a hard task. But it is something we must strive for.

I am writing about these ideas because although i am living in a new place, where many challenges are represented by adapting and embracing new realities, the challenge of selflessness and honesty always accompanies me.

I hope that the few who read this post will look inside their hearts and think about what their face is looking at! And if they do not see Sunshine then they should change direction or tear down the walls that keep them away from it!

ShidON

its getting cold!

2008-09-24T09:15:00.002+08:00

Its getting cold in Beijing!

Riding my bike is not a sticky situation anymore... and as animals are looking for warm places to relax, a few things have been going on....

a) Yesterday i was in my first bike crash! A scooter ran into my back wheel as i was turning and it bent it 90*. I did not get hurt at all. But it is a very funny situation this one.

In the middle of a small intersection with a destroyed bike. I look at the guy on the scooter (not chinese) and i smile at him. He looks absolutely devastated. I was afraid he might have gotten hurt or something. So i ask him...

'Are YOU ok?'

and he does not answer... his eyes are big and head is shaking...so once again i ask him

'Did YOU get hurt?'

some seconds pass.. which when you are in the middle of an intersection seem like minutes! and then i hear him whispering

'i'm so sorry....'

I told him not to worry, that i'd get it fixed and that the important thing is that no one got hurt. So as he goes away and i start carrying my bike to the workshop, i thought that in reality all of this scene needed to be performed the other way around and that me and the guy seemed to have confused which lines we had to say in the script of life.

He should have asked the questions and i should have been speechless!

Anyway the bike (i have to still give her a name, but it must have something to do with a lady who has been through a lot in life, and through a lot of plastic surgery as well) is ok!

But the whole situation happened 5 minutes before class which meant i had to run!!!

b) ...clearly if you read point A you will know that i am about to talk about chinese class!

It was such a cool experience.

We had 4 hours of class which felt really like 2.

No, not because its easy or because its fascinating, but because the first 2 hr class was all in chinese :) we started learning some tones and some words in chinese which is always interesting.

The last two hours were with a teacher who spoke english and was teaching us about chinese characters and how they evolved throughout the centuries, and it was interesting to see how some of these characters make no sense...

it made me think that language evolution at times goes through people who have no clue what they are doing.

And i thought that this is happening as we speak today! MSN users and text messengers are changing the future world! And it made me think that though today words or abbreviates such as MIRL, PLO or GSOH are (possibly) understandable (i had to look them up at netlingo.com) , in some centuries someone like me today will look back and say 'how did they get to that!?'... LOL

Ok, this was so exciting and i can't wait to have my second lesson today!

now i've got to go do some homework!

BRB

ShidON

My Bike Is Fast

2008-09-17T17:07:00.003+08:00

I got a Bike more or less a week ago and promised it that my next post would be about how fast and cool it is.

It is actually so cool that i am always expecting it not to be there after i park it and chain it up outside my house at night...

It is quite fast though today i had to bring it to be repaired already as the left pedal was just a little bit weak...

Also i came to realize one important thing... obeying street rules in China with your bike will only be a cause of harm! I guess you become the X factor in a very difficult and complex equation (the street) which people do not know how to relate to..

The first hour going around the city was an hour in which i caused distress to other fellow bikers. I guess they are not used to rules. So finally when a man collided with an older lady because i was doing the right thing by staying on my side of the road, i decided i had enough of the rules and that it was probably safer for me and others to just be part of the madness!

Which is so much fun! Actually i fit in pretty well i must say!.. But don't worry im careful!

So now i have a request! My bike is all black (you can see it in the pic) and pretty but it needs some extra kudos to gain respect on the road..

So I am asking you all to please think of how we can fix my bike up! I want suggestions! Do you have any cool sticker you would like to send to me to put on? Or anything i can attach to my bike anywhere? Please suggest! I am open!

So many cool things are happening around here, and i am making some really nice friends!

Campus is so beautiful! And i started playing football with some friends! So it seems as if things are working out well slowly!

I've seen some beautiful places and i am scared of how much this all feels like home..

i belong.

ShidON

love is the strongest adhesive!

2008-09-09T11:23:00.004+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMbbtiXPqGo

its just universal you know?

you can go to any country in the world, and as much as they may differ, love is just the strongest force!

It is said in the Baha'i Faith that love is the energy that holds the atoms and molecules together in the universe... which means we are all here because of love!

This has great implications for all of us! It means that if we dislike someone, the problem is within us, because love is there, that connection is and will always be there.

We are all connected through love, but we have to work to maintain that connection strong and not let the transitory things of this short life get in the way of who we love!

This post is for all those who remember every day that this connection exists, and who fight for love.

Who see distance as a unique opportunity to englobe more into their network of love.

Who believe that 'where there is love there is always time'

Who are not uncomfortable with cheesy words, because they mean them.

Who, though hurt, and upset, will agree to change.

This post was inspired by the thought of my 'dumb' cousin Roshan who, unfortunately, i love with all my heart :)

ShidON

moved

2008-09-07T09:25:00.004+08:00

I found a flat, and i am about to move-in in just a few hours. Its another beginning...

Actually everything here is really a beginning for me...

But before saying anything i just wanted to share with you my love for the Hinton family who has been taking care of me for the last week (my first in Beijing) and for a long time when i was in italy, as they were helping me out with visa issues.

They are a wonderful family! Sean and Tebby have been so generous to me and really inspirational as their lives are lived to help others and serve them!

Their three girls, Jasmine, Camille and Zoe are really great to have around and you know that there is always something interesting about to happen. I feel very lucky i became uncle Shido for all.

Moving on, last night i went to a jazz night at the Hilton in central Beijing with some friends i had met in Macao.

First of all its just great to discover these new streets, this new atmosphere, this great new city. It really is something else!

the eve was a great opportunity to re-encounter some old friends from past service experiences, and for making new friends and meeting wonderful people which is really thrilling and exciting... yet, as i returned to the Hinton hotel :), as i was approaching my bed time, and was reflecting on my day, one moment in particular was standing out above all the others!

So... here is what my heart and my mind were thinking about...

i met this chinese friend called Bruce (i dont know his true name...dang not a good start)!

We started talking about life, its purpose, its meaning, and about the need that every person has for an Universal Educator. And as he was sharing his ideas and his thoughts on the topic i could see through his thickish glasses these two black eyes... that were full of a light i have never seen before...

I wondered...

A few minutes later two of his chinese friends came along, Robin and Betty (chinese names NA). And as we started conversing on these interesting themes i could see that also in their eyes something was shimmering and glowing quite brightly. The conversation was so intense an beautiful, and their vision of how to create a better world lifted me up to places i have never been to.

All of a sudden we were interrupted by somebody who was leaving the place and was saying goodbye to the four of us... and as i looked deeply into their ways of expressing their love, friendship, peace, unity, harmony towards this person i was moved... deeply moved.

I always believed the chinese were very special people. now i know.

And i thank God for this immense and immeasurable opportunity He gave me to learn and discover the beauties of the world He created because of His love for us.

as their eyes pierced my soul, i felt a new light burning within.

ShidON

BE(ijing) HAPPY

2008-09-02T23:22:00.014+08:00

I am now officially a Beijinger! It is such a great feeling!

After 7 months of longing!

It is such a vibrant and beautiful place.. so clean, and orderly, and full of life and of interesting things! And most of all full of... beautiful... people!!!

Yet i had my first small (very small) share of hard times (guess its normal not speaking the language!!!)

But most of the time, when things are hard, i sing, i whistle, i smile at someone, i think of life, and look around, and see there is so much i need to do and learn from!

Here are some of the sights that have filled my heart with joy!

A taxi which will take me quickly to the airport....... NOT!!! Clearly this picture is of the Bird's Nest!!!

...the football field where i hope i will meet great friends... and where i will reveal my great potential as a footballer :)

... meeting friends at uni when riding my future bike...

... a new culture to learn and discover...

... and old martial art masters to learn self defense from...

And i realize that the happiness they give me is because they remind me of what i am, who i am, why i am here, and where i want to go. And they remind me that happiness is a virtue, not the cause of some external factor.

So lets try to be happy, always!

ShidON

Come Musica

2008-08-31T10:17:00.004+08:00

I'm in the HK airport, waiting for my flight to Beijing.

I felt compelled to write this little post as i am listening to Jovanotti's 'Come Musica'. ( go to link)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3H_K6JLeLOE

Listening to this song reminds me of my family, of all my friends, all opportunities taken or missed, of all the beautiful souls that this world enshrines, all the things that we need to do to make things better for all our kind. It reminds me of how im never alone, how love is the real force that binds things together, and that we are blind when we don't see it.

And most of all it reminds me of how God gave me a life to live, and He gave me all of the things i mentioned above and so much more... and He wants me to do my best.

I just want to thank Him.

ShidON

Live in Hong Kong

2008-08-30T22:46:00.002+08:00

I'm writing from my 3x2 meter room in a hostel!

There is no window, the light is cold, the ac is on and i am currently watching Alien on tv.

This sad picture of me is actually is not giving a fair idea of the Hong Kong experience... which has been really awesome! I have spent 2 days here and walked around quite a lot, and it has really been a lot of fun!

This city is amazing, there are so many things to see, though most of it is a BIG mall!

I took pictures of so many different things which reminded me of friends also.. and i will be hunting for more to put up on facebook!

Being alone is not easy but makes me appreciate all the people that i had around so much more! Thank you for all!

I know this post is nothing too special but i will be more prolific once i am settled into Beijing!

ShidON

goodbye italy

2008-08-20T17:33:00.004+08:00

i don't show it but i really am nostalgic and sad when i am about to leave italy or 'home'...

this post will be a little tribute to...

- mom who always repeats things 5 times because she is sad i'm going, and who i love so much and i apologize to for being such a useless child :)

- to dad who, as i am writing, is working outside scrubbing the porch for the next big gathering in our house. that is really who he is. he never stops, probably never will. and he is always there for me and anyone.

- to my future indian neighbor jalan who is already setting things up for me in beijing ;) now also we will be able to show off like the other two sisters who meet up every 3 months!

- to sharim who is always on the phone with my parents. now that i know i hope in receiving at least one call per week!

- to amy who always supports my ideas and is my little sister who i fight with!

- to naysan who is the creator of two monsters and is always an inspiration for me (in the giggity gig field)

- to jalil who is not a doctor yet, but somehow has convinced my mom he is. i cant wait to see you and matisse in beijing with me :)

- to shamim who i love to beat at mario kart and pro evo, and who is also an inspiration in the giggity gup gap field

- to manijeh & vince who quietly do so much for all and have always been true family

- to shirin & Naim who are funny and keep me entertained with their awesome pictures on facebook

- to cinzia who is the goddess of the kitchens and is the most loving aunt

- to roshan (vacca) whose company has been one of the greatest gifts God has ever given me

- to nushin who is the londoner of the family now

- to nonna 'mannaggia li pescetti' mina che e' sempre li a passare perle di saggezza romano/napoletane

- to Rizi joon who is always there, like a soldier, smiling and living

- to hakim & shida who were hosting me while i was getting my visa, and who put a smile on my face (slurp joker)

- to andrea ugo :) who i miss and i want to spend more time with

- to giada who is more swiss than ever

- to paolo aka 'peo' who is always reliable, i would say an uncle for me, and a friend for all

- to ninetta who is here before i wake up

- to ale 'buba' che e' a corto di scuse!! dovrai venire in cina! mi mancherai vecchio!

- to carlo che e' un esempio per il ciclismo italiano anche se e' un po' malato...

- to ceccio che e' troppo malato e che non voglio in cina :)

- to pado che e' troppo genovese ;) e che quando trova la donna va in banca rotta

- to giacomo zanottinho che anche lui non c'e' mai :) ma fa sempre il bravo!

- to la 5 B che si e' persa qua e la

- to jamshid who no words can describe

- to ashkanio who will move to africa to serve humanity and will be shooting spoof videos like 'tension'

- to anis who is a shutto boy, and the champion of water slides!

- to sina who is not on facebook for some reason

- to zio nima who has class

- to zia marta who has patience with the class of zio nima

- to emma who is pure and really one of a kind

- to samir who is always running and working and will be a dad soon!

- to lucy who is more than what she thinks she is

- to verona and its people

- to the baha'i youth of italy who are always in my heart

- to the baha'is of london who served with me

- to puianello che e' sempre bello and just called me to say bye:)

- to cello who is lost somewhere and needs to be in touch and make me laugh as usual

- to alex who i think got a job and will now do nothing somewhere that is not home... i always read your movie reviews man

- to all the london football crew who i know gathered again and missed my talent :)

- to the oval boys, daniele, ricky, mehdi, ayo, wrigley and all who touched that blessed house i love you

- to my university friends

- to my devotional group in london

- to my ruhi groups in london and italy

- to my service friends in haifa

- to my ecuadorian friends in .... ecuador :)

- to all the ones who i met, maybe for one moment, maybe for one second, and to those i always knew, to those that by mistake i forgot and that in the next posts i shall remember

for all of the above

please dont forget me because i will not.

love is a big word, and i think you deserve it all

ShidON

...and to Him we shall return

2008-08-16T16:53:00.003+08:00

Know thou that every hearing ear, if kept pure and undefiled, must, at all times and from every direction, hearken to the voice that uttereth these holy words:

"Verily, we are God's, and to Him shall we return."

Baha'u'llah

Well!

I read this quote the other eve with a group of friends.

Nearly all of us were youth... and who had an age that was not too youthful still felt, and feels (rightly so), very useful!!

After sharing it we all explained in what way we were touched by these words.

as usual everyone had an interesting view and a different understanding of things.

one of the thoughts that came to my mind is the idea of how the terms 'youth' and 'death' are nearly seen as opposites.

why should a youth think of death? let him live life to its full! let him ride that wave of energy and emotions!

that is what i would say at least..

yet, i think this quote once again shows me how Baha'u'llah has changed the balance of things throughout the entire world.

He encourages us at ANY age to think that one day, young or old, we will all leave this world. And He is telling us to think very carefully about what we want to bring with us in the next world.

No car, no job, no money will come with us.. not even our titles that we fought for...

so what do YOU want to bring to the next world?

Oh and finally.

If you are a youth, or you consider yourself one, don't you think it might be too late to think of the the next life when you are about to reach it at an old age?

this mortal world speaks to us from every direction.

do you need hearing aids?

ShidON

7 days and maybe its time to return

2008-08-13T21:44:00.002+08:00

It has been a long 11 weeks since my last post.

I must give explanations... i know..

but there will be time to explain how inspiration is a spiritual peak that inevitably we start climbing down from!

but i am here again...

and i am here one week before C-day. a day that i have been waiting for since the end of November.

and now, as one last week stands in the way of my chinese adventure, i feel overwhelmed by a feeling of excitement. a positive one without doubts.

with the olympic games and with all the coverage that China got in the last weeks, various feelings have touched my heart, the strongest of which are love and awe.

love because i already love the little things i know of China and its people, its culture, its ways, its teachings...

and awe in front of the amount of learning this amazing civilization and reality can give me, my family and friends.

trying to switch on

ShidON

it has been some time now...

2008-05-28T21:01:00.003+08:00

Dearest friends who still read this blog.

It has been a while. Plenty of reasons for this absenteism.

I have been studying about Nash Equilibria, about Strategic Moves, about Payoffs, about Iterated elimination of Dominated Strategies, about Zero-Sum-Games and Constant-Sum-Games. All of this because i knew i needed to acquire the knowledge to move on in life.

Furthermore my computer waved goodbye to me the other night before it took off to the land of non-working-graphic-cards... and i found my self in front of the blue screen of death, which told me 'dude, now you can go mac'.

so to sum it all up:

- My PC is in bad shape
- I had my last exam.

WHICH MEANS I AM DONE WITH UNI! (well this deduction comes only from the pre-stated idea that i have had my last exam. my computer braking down has had no impact on me finishing university)

Celebrate People! Finally i am an adult. Or maybe not.

But anyway i am done with university.
Which means that i am done with feeling guilty because i do nothing useful!

Now i can just do nothing and know that there is no duty for me to fulfil! Its great!

No more guilt! :)

I've been thinking a lot about my last years here. And talking with matteo (my flat mate and muse) i realised that in two years of living together we have still one question we never can answer.

at lunch time or at dinner time we always find it hard to choose what to eat. I promise you it is 2 years that we struggle every single day. There is just no initiative on either side.

one walks into the room of the other and says "what are we having for lunch?"

and then we just stare at the wall wondering why, with all the important and meaningful questions we have to answer in our life, the most challenging has to do with something which we will let go of some few hours after the beginning of our digestion process.
today though after staring at the wall for 10 minutes i said one word which solved all issues and got us going... Mc Donalds.

it must be the idea that i finished uni, but i did not feel any guilt in saying that!

Thank you matteo for the hours spent thinking of what to eat, and thank you Mc Donalds for making life easier today!

Oh and thank you Coldplay for Viva la Vida, Lost and Violet Hill. Great stuff.

ShidON

i am an on-line target

2008-05-19T18:33:00.004+08:00

Bonjour a tut le monde! (is that correctly spelled?)

I'm back in London! I had a phenomenal 8 days in Montpellier with Ashkan, and i added a link to his blog on my page so go check it out cause he is my hero!
Now i have a whole 8 days to prepare my exam of games of strategy, and then i will be done with university! I still do not understand the magnitude of this moment.

In these past days i had so many thoughts, ideas, experiences, feelings, emotions, and i felt like sharing so much, but i never really did manage to sit down and think about what i wanted to say.
I guess its a bit of a strange moment now, as things are rapidly changing and i am trying to adapt and prepare my self for new adventures!

I have an official departure date from london, that is the 4th of june..........

Anyway a feeling, or thought that i would like to share has to do with the internet and on-line advertising, in particular on facebook.

Now ever since i opened my facebook account all the adds that have been popping up on my screen have been asking me if i wanted to meet a hot girl in my area.

Very philanthropically they are urging me to STOP browsing facebook accounts and just click on their service and get straight to business!

Obviously i figured we all get adds based on our data, so as long as they see me male, single and 22 they will hit me where supposedly i am weak! Isn't that wonderful?

But you want to know what is worse?

Yesterday, when i refreshed the page, i got an add urging me to come out of the closet and find the right guy to date!
Can't they read?? My profile says 'INTERESTED IN WOMEN'.

So why do they do this? What is the reason for this?
I believe i have the answer to that!

Since i never have clicked on any of these adds (i must admit i was tempted when i saw a gorgeous brunette smiling at me), they must have thought "maybe he is gay, why dont we just see what happens'.
Well i'll tell you what happens. You make me upset, not only because you treat me like an animal, but because you treat every guy, girl, homosexual, granny and grandpa as a piece of meat, weak and in need of serious exploitation!

i wonder what will come next!
What adds do you get?

ShidON

je voudrais un croissant

2008-05-12T04:09:00.003+08:00

well, its been some days since my last post.. i know it is in the best interest of the www if i don't post, but i am back to haunt you all down!

life has been really good to me lately...
i finished two exams, and hopefully they went ok!
and in the spirit of examination month, i left london for a week, and i am posting from motpellier, south of france, where i am currently chilling with my brother ashkan.

i speak no french, so it is quite difficult to communicate... but a feeling has been growning inside me.. a desire to learn french, or at least the fundamentals, and to learn to play the piano, which i feel will take forever and i shall not pursue.

but most importantly in these days of communicational challenges i've been thinking so much about china. because i am realising it will be difficult to be language-less for some time!
but i guess i knew it would be a challenge!

the other day, before leaving london, i went with a friend to an expo on modern design in china and i was totally blown away. it is so cool! i cant wait to actually be there!

before leaving the expo we entered this dark room. and they had a 180° screen on which they projected a view of beijing from a helicopter (all in cgi). and it was so cool! i watched the presentation (which was 2 minutes long) at least 5 times in a row!
and i could not get enough!
it will rock!

i wonder how you say 'i would like a croissant' in mandarin...

shidON

exams

2008-05-05T23:49:00.003+08:00

i havent written in some time, but i have an excuse.
tomorrow i have my first exam. and then the day after tomorrow my second one.
i've been studying, or trying to.
i am not so sure of how it will all go, but i am hopeful!
its so interesting how life changes when exams are coming up.

i can tell its examination time because;
- i am uber lazy
- i am quite bored
- i always feel like i would rather be somewhere else, doing something else
- i eat triple the amounts that i should
- i gain wait
- i love bathroom time, as it is officially an excuse not to do work
- i feel sticky
- i take no care of myself
- the time outside is always nice when you have to stay in-doors
- i always get sick somehow at some point
- i dont want to talk or communicate much
- i feel guilty, knowing i should do more
- i start criticizing the 'system'
- my mom says loads of prayers for me (i love it!!!! thanks mama)
- i buy junk food
- i spend more money cause 'i deserve it' (not true)
- i google 'i am bored' and find a cool website where i can play games and watch videos
- i am always on facebook, just to see if anyone else is bored
- i strategically plan with all my class mates what to study
- i look at people fight and argue over sharing exam preparation notes
- my clothes smell of starbucks
- i become friends with the employees of my local starbucks
- i put an alarm clock on when in truth i have nothing but books waiting for me
- even calling my sisters becomes an excuse to lose time (hahaha.. just kidding! i put it there to make my sisters upset, and to tell them that i love them)
- i wonder how in the world will i ever be able to work if i can barely sit down and study
- michael paluch is my study guru
- i chew on plastic things like pens
- my desk is covered with plates, mugs, cups

great days no?

ShidON

lets talk important things, shall we?

2008-04-30T05:02:00.009+08:00

I am writing to express a feeling. A profound one indeed.

A feeling so strong in my heart. One that has not been produced by a family member.. or by football.. or by a concert.. or by a friend.. or by a girl.. or by a new born nephew.. or by a great opportunity offered to me in life.

Rather it has developed when learning about the ongoing developments in Haifa, Israel, where the greatest global event of the year has been taking place.

Onehundred and fiftythree countries (that is 153), are taking part in a global democratic election to elect a governing body.

Now... Lets stop for a second and try to picrure what this might look like.

What do you see when you think of the words democratic, global and election?

.........

... maybe a bunch of people screaming at eachother trying to push their own agendas, their own desires, their own best interest?

.. or maybe different groups beating each other up in suits and wearing ties..

.. or maybe police beating up some activists outside on the streets...

It is not far fetched to say that we all might be induced, by looking at the status of the world today, into thinking this is probably the nature of the events in Haifa.

But if those ideas and visions are truly in our heads, and are part of our understanding of today's reality, then this event in Haifa is re-shaping them, and needless to say, revolutionizing the world.

What is happening is in fact quite the oppsoite.
In a spirit of harmony, unity, devotion, respect, justice and love, people from cultures and realities so diverse (one can hardly immagine), have found the one thing that makes them one.... The promotion of the best interests of their kind... the human race.

153 countries, all with the same influence on the final result of an election, all rappresented justly, all in harmony, when did this EVER happen?
I could not hold in all the love and admiration i have for the Baha'i Faith when i read the articles.

It is a historic moment, wouldn't you agree?

If you do not believe me then read these three articles and look at the photographs that are within them
http://news.bahai.org/story/627

http://news.bahai.org/story/624
http://news.bahai.org/story/626

oh and most importantly check your tv news channel...

If you do not see or hear anything about it, then probably it is true.

Rejoice for something new is born

ShidON

thank you luciano

2008-04-28T16:15:00.003+08:00

Last night Luciano Ligabue was in London. This visit is part of his european tour.

Now, you all already know how i feel about Ligabue's music.

The first time i saw him live (it was my first concert ever) was in italy. I was with some of my best friends and approximately other 220.000 people. HUGE. It was amazing. Fireworks, helicopters flying over us, a sea of people.

This time though the venue could only squeeze in 1400 max.

So it was extremely small and comfortable. Some of his hardcore fans drove all the way from italy to support him! He was litterally in front of me.

The two concerts were two hugely different experiences, but to be considered equal in their final outcome.

THEY ROCKED.

He is without doubts the greatest artist in italy, not only because of his music and lyrics, but particularly because of his personality. There is something about him which is so human and loving.

When talking to the crowd he experimented with his english, which i must say is great! I screamed he should be our prime minister since berlusconi cant say one single thing well!

And also roberto donadoni was at the concert... donadoni for those who dont know is the coach of the italian national football team. so when there was a moment of calm in the concert we all started singing songs for him, asking him to win the euro cup for us all!

'dacci l'europa! roberto dacci l'europa! dacci l'europa, roberto dacci l'europa!!'

if you are on facebook you can check the videos out.

as you can see by my writing i am still overwhelmed by the beauty of last night...

come vedi sono qui, monta su, non ci avranno fin che questo cuore non, crepera'
di ruggine di botte o d'eta'!

ShidON

full?

2008-04-23T15:37:00.004+08:00

the other night, other than talking about God and His amazing humility, or lack of (just the word lack makes me think He must have it by the way, lack and God do not go well together), we talked about our capacity.

In the Baha'i Faith it is explained that when we are born we come to this world with a capacity.

This capacity is given by the hidden spiritual gems latent within us(our virtues such as generosity or truthfulness) and the talents we are endowed with (some people are more skilful than others at football, or playing the piano, or pubblic speaking).

Yet another important variable in the capacity realm, and one we forget too often, is opportunity of growth. This in other words means that because of the circumstances of life (being born in the western world vs being born in a poor country, or being born in a country where human rights are part of the local laws vs NOT) we have opportunities of growth that others may not have.

This category of Divine endowments though, is a risky one to deal with because it can become the prime reason for our lack of growth (money is a tool that increases our capacities, because it allows us to view the world, travel, know, but only if used correctly and with detachment).

Anyway to explain the concept the Baha'i Faith uses a metaphor of containers. Some have a cup, others a barrel, others a swimming pool, and some a lake.
No one really knows the capacity of others and is unaware of the depth of his/her own.

And it does not matter how good or useless you are, how succesful or unlucky you are in comparison with others.

All that matters is how much you've filled up your container.

God is the only Being capable of judging this. SO DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES OR ASSUMPTIONS!

Now after this intro i will get to the point.

Why do people die prematurely?

This is something we all ask ourselves, and is usually one of the reasons for which many do not believe in a just God.

What i came up with though (and i have no writings as of yet to suggest it is right, which probably indicates it is wrong), is that since God is the only One that truly knows where we stand in terms of our spiritual growth, and He is the most just of justs, when we are taken out of this world, it is probably because we have filled up our cup or capacity.

Since our goal is growth, if we can't go any further, God justly takes us to a place where we can truly acheive and reach the next level!

Now does that sound crazy?

ShidON

is God humble?

2008-04-17T23:57:00.002+08:00

Last night we had a great evening with some friends, discussing spirituality and various themes of the individual's spiritual growth.

Some of these themes regarded our own abasement, our weaknesses, our incapacity to manifest the virtues that God endowed us with and that shine forth from His Sun.

In one of the quote it talked about human beings being the only created thing that can in potential reflect all of God's attributes, whereas all the rest of creation is limited in their expression.

But one thing was interesting. We considered the virtue of humilty, and wondered if it is a virtue of God.

I am extremely interested in knowing what others think.

The group did not come to a conclusion, but we brought it down to two options (as if that was hard.. hehehe)

a) God is not Humble. It is the only virtue He does not need as He is above our realm and any other. He is the Creator. Hence we, creation, have been given a unique capacity to shine forth, our humility.

b) Man is in potential a mirror of God. He has all the virtues of God. Where does humility come from? It must be of God. And if God wanted to, Him being all powerul, He could be Humble beyond comprehension.

Interesting no? I researched and did not find any clear answer as of yet..
Do you have any interesting thoughts? Please comment!!

Where do you stand??

ShidON

i am banksy

2008-04-16T05:43:00.002+08:00

just kidding!

to some extent i wish i was banksy! I think he is an amazing artist.

But is he just an artist?! I think he is an artist, and a super hero! He manages to be invisible!

To all of you un-aware, like i was until recent, of who Banksy is go to http://www.banksy.co.uk/

That shall answer your questions.

Some things do not say much to me. But most of it is very interesting.

His projects are without a doubt ambitious, and at times probably a bit over the top.

But some things he states are so wonderful and thought provoking.

I would even say uplifting. Though this is down to interpretation!

One of his graffiti read ' people who enjoy waving flags don't deserve one'

BanksyON

a trojan horse

2008-04-14T18:27:00.003+08:00

now, after that lame post about underwear and commandos, i will try to talk semi-seriously.

i lost a battle the other day. i lose battles every day, but this one was really painful!
i thought i had it all sorted out! no need to really worry...
i thought enemy troops were well away, hiding somewhere and scared to death of me.

then all of a sudden i find this amazing gift of the gods infront of me. i feel special!
i let it all in, saying to my self that it is fine, because the gods have sent it down for me to enjoy, because i have been good and i deserve it!
at night though i can hear some crazy noises in my heart. i look down into my heart and i see thousands of these guys running at me, entering my castle and burning it down! and this is all because of my being supersticious and allowing the trojan horse of ego into my house!
i could not manage.

this metaphore is pretty accurate! :) it transmits the feelings and thoughts of that moment.

cause we do have to fight with our ego every single day.
it is not possible to wake up one day and be done and over with fighting. that would be tooooo easy!

Abdu'l-Baha', the Son of Baha'u'llah, refers to ego as 'the insistent self''.
Interesting and very profound use of words.

So even when you think that the enemy troops are soar and defeated, always be careful cause in reality this war with ego is an endless one, and one were deceit is the most powerful weapon.

the war is endless, and it will always be a pain and a struggle. We will loose many battles. No doubts.

But it is never written anywhere that we have lost the whole war!

ShidON

'going commando'

2008-04-14T18:12:00.005+08:00

'In military science, the term commando can refer to an individual, a military unit, or a raiding style of military operation. In some contexts, "commando" means elite light infantry or special forces'

ok. before the official post about a lost battle but a war continuing, i would like to know two things.

a) why is there such a thing as military science? i thought it was all about Rambos and stuff...

b) who has an idea of what the term 'going commando' means....?

now the title of my serious post was going to be 'going commando'. i do not know why, but i searched the meaning of going commando on google and always according to my buddy Wik:

'Going commando (or to go commando) is the practice of not wearing underwear under one's outer clothing.'

anyway i thought that was something of interest... i want to understand how it developed.

I am sure Arnie had to dispose of his undies in order to carry that rocket launcher....!

Get into tha choppa!

ShidON

round head

2008-04-11T19:09:00.004+08:00

i got all of my hair shaved off.
i know it sounds crazy and it probably is a bit crazy.

it took a while before i actually turned words into action.
my friends thought i was just being stupid and that i would not do it.

i only realised the magnitude of such a choice once the machine was applied to my head and shaved off the first 3 cms of hair. but at that point there is no coming back...

as my hair dropped to the floor and the true shape of my head started to appear in front of me, i felt as if shidan was going somewhere far far away, and was now part of a past that will only return in some months :)

the worst part had still to come... i started thinking of the turnmoil (haha) that this would cause..

some comments were sweet like "it will grow back", others were more cruel like "its not you anymore".
a good friend said that it was hard to look at me now because my nose was too big all of a sudden.
my mom did not even reply to the email with the picture of my new look that i sent her. and when i called her to see how she was doing she screamed "WHY did you DO IT?"

my old man on the other hand feels it is very much the cut of a true, strong, powerful, confident man.... i think that behind all this praise for a hair cut lies his feeling that this cut is an act of support towards his group of hair-free men....

my sisters seem to care less. but all i can tell them is to get ready cause thats what their lovers will look like soon!! and it will be 'al naturale'

all i know is that as this haircut is re-shaping my social life, i am coming to an important conclusion.

it is so cold without hair on my head.
love to all.

i did not dissapear as my hair fell, dont worry!

ShidON

flowery road

2008-04-10T16:11:00.003+08:00

i have some issues with blogger as i find it hard to personalise it as i want...
i need to ask amy how!

i am now officially alone in london. my flatmate has left, and i am really feeling lonely.
this is also partly the reason for my lack of blogging! I need inspiration...

yesterday was particularly hard, i just was bored, and my mind was wondering again.
so i decided to rescue it by going for a walk in the park.
well in truth it did not help. my mind still was somewhere lost.
as i made my way through a street in my area of town though, i looked up a little road and thought.
'mh.. i've never been up there!'
so, as you can immagine, an adventure started!

i am so sorry i did not have my camera to take pictures, but i will go back and take some so you can see.
this place was magical. so different from the rest of london.
it was like a small village in the centre of the city, full of color, flowers, old shops, small bakeries...and the best part is that no one really goes through it.
the perfect movie set!
i talked to the locals who seemed so proud of it!
i think the local church really managed to keep things old-school..

this place exists and i was not high.
so when you come visit me in london (only 2 more months left) ask me to take you to flowery road.
i shall not take you to a drug dealer, or a store for mothers and old ladies.
i shall take you to this place which is the proof that religion can do good.

Thank you Kensington Church!

ShidON

lost in an aisle

2008-04-07T21:37:00.005+08:00

i need some fresh air! please!
i am awaiting for some sort of fresh experience to just come and pick me up!

but i guess i can't expect that.
so i figured that soon i will have to find new projects to take on!

i've changed the color of the logo (not really a logo), but for some weird reason it does not come out all crisp and nice. i have to find a solution.

or i can take it all as a sign. i need to make a new one!

any suggestions?

oh, and i realise my posts have been descending slowly into some sort of useless chat.
so i will put more effort into them. i promise.
its just that i have this coursework in for tomorrow, and it is haunting me.
i feel it around me. it covers my eyes and my ears.
i do not sense anything that is not Carrefour related... i don't like them very much!

at least they give me hope, as i know i am capable of better logos than theirs...

i apologise TO the essence of this 32nd post, which has been lost somewhere in a supermarket aisle, among the 100 different types of cereal, and the 50 dish-washer soaps ones.

ShidON

sis-using

2008-04-04T16:44:00.004+08:00

i am a terrible person.
particularly towards my sisters...

while they actually protect me, love me, stick up for me, talk nice things about me on their blogs, make emberassingly love-full comments on my facebook wall, bring me up as a soap-opera and romantic commedy loving man, and generally behave like sisters, i use them all the time to get favours...

im like a cat who comes around only for the food and the sleep.
i wonder if they are convinced of this as well.. i feel really bad cause i truly love them.
i know my attitude is bad. i will have to fix it all.
so i promised myself that...

when i'll be in China i'll have them all come over and will treat them like queens.
i will buy a trolley to attach to my bike, will pad it with flowers and nice pillows, and will carry them around the town for shopping.
i will also cook for them, and make sure they do not eat dog.
i will bring them to have a nice massage somewhere, and will treat them to all the best experiences possible...

i will make sure their husbands are also entertained either back home, or on the street.
this means that they will be on a routine of cleaning the house and cooking (though i have a feeling this is already the way it works, knowing my sisters' despote nature)...

anyway i am just filling you all in on some of my important thoughts in life...

namaste

ShidON

back on track

2008-04-01T01:46:00.002+08:00

i am back in london..
these are my last two months here.
then i am going to china.

wow.

anyway i had an amazing week in verona.
as boring as that city is, we managed with some friends to make it a great week, probably one of the best weeks i ever had in italy!

many things happened, many hearts were opened, many people were met, many eyes sparkled...
i am so glad to have deepened my friendship with so many people.
and as these events developed a feeling of purpouse kept on increasing in my heart...
and now i am happy that my eagerness to do something with my life has increased!

the only thing that makes me sad is the idea that i really did not spend enough time with my mom and dad.
but it is ok as we all know why this happened and why it will keep on happening...
because of our Faith!

we'll have all of eternity to chill together!

thanks to all who shared this phenomenal week with me, and who have inspired me and helped me in my everyday work!

back on track with my blog... but not with my soul, as in reality i became a little airplane...

ShidON

hug-range

2008-03-25T08:53:00.003+08:00

dear all...
i just got back from a four day youth conference in italy.
in truth i really lack the adequate words to describe it all though some might say that i always lack the adequate words.

First things first. I love my Faith.
It is the greatest treasure i could have ever been given. It is the reason for all that i will list below, and is the only reason for all of my happiness.

Second, i was re-born italian in these four days. I love Italy, and my wonderful friends.

Third, i am truly in a loving mood. I promise, and all in the conference can testify to this, that if you stand within my arm range i will hug you. There is no escaping this.

Fourth, i am so glad to have so many examples to follow.

Fifth, im no fool when i say that i wish to become a tool.

Sixth, i love Jamshid Varjavandi and Samir Tebiani.

Seventh, my dog is about to give birth to puppies. Ok this has little to do with Faith, but it is God's creation so... i am quite excited!

And last i love the fact that whoever is truly born after me is so much better than me. Thank God.

This is a post that i wish to dedicate to all my brothers and sisters. Without doubt, though it might not be the same for them, i feel a lot of love for a lot of people.
You are mines rich in gems of inestimable value.
You are creation and possibility.

ShidON

spring is blogging my view man!

2008-03-18T18:33:00.004+08:00

i am going to italy tomorrow for 10 days.

im excited at the thought of being with mom and dad, and all my friends!yet i feel a bit strange... and strange is the word i use when something is hard to explain...

i just guess its that time of the year when things, as a student, start going a bit faster and you loose track of all the people around you...

also i realise that every time spring is around the corner things get interesting.
questions pop-up...
i think it is the idea that when life is re-born we do not know where it will take us...

what will happen this year? where will i end up being... what will i be doing?

Does anyone else feel that way?

i just know that for example last year i was watching football and studying, and i could not foresee my glorious entry in the blogging world! :)

anyway, i just want to say that i feel very lucky, and greatful for all that i have been given.

even these moments of questioning!

only love for you blog-readers

End of... i forgot what number i am on... checking it is just a click away but i am lazy..

ShidON

abducted mind

2008-03-15T18:39:00.005+08:00

i am fasting.
and i am a happy faster.
it is nearly over (5 more days) though.

it is quite sad really. i am sure who has been fasting can agree with that...
i am not going to lie that normal eating life is also great, but these 19 days are special.

the only thing i really suffer is the being tired and a bit lazy...
which potentially can mean that my mind will go wondering around too much...
at times it wonders in places i do not like! memories of the past, or prejudices of the present, or ideas of a future which is a bit confusing.
so i have to call in the rescue team with their guns and armor.
i brief them quickly about what the problem is, and who is keeping my mind captive.
i tell them to shoot anything mean down, and to take no prisoners.
just go rescue her, my mind.
they leave the general quarters, and with their fast-armored-tank enter that region.
it is quite dark with zombies and monsters...
but since its my mind i have a good map, so i can tell them exactly where to go without getting lost...
so they go, they find her, they shoot down all those crazy abductors and to the sound of a great song they carry her home!

i've been watching too many movies...

anyway i reccomend to all of you guys to listen to these artists; 'band of horses', 'kyte', 'albert hammond jr.', 'the photographic', 'bon iver'.

sometimes my blog is part of the rescue team

ShidON

footie tragedy

2008-03-12T15:42:00.002+08:00

to all football lovers this season has been a true disaster.
english football is dominating in europe, something which is truly embarassing.

the only team i can accept from england is arsenal, and they do not have one english player in the first team. that is why they play great football. and do not come and talk to me ou man utd. they are ok because they have some good players with terrible attitudes. i will not mention the other two teams who are destroying the image of football.

it is a disaster this year. hopefully Roma or Barca will remind the brits that football is a game that is meant to be fun...

its all fault of the pound!

at least in the euro cup we will not have to see the terrible football played by england...

end of this dissapointed and dissapointing post

ShidON

being who we are

2008-03-08T18:59:00.003+08:00

helo... with one l... i'm feeling gentle today... :)

most of the time when i would hear people say 'you have to accept and love yourself ', i would shiver.

it just did not sound right.

probably it is because i associated it with looking at the pimples in the mirror, or the extra love you had on your belly, and saying 'i love myself anyway'. i never thought that was the reality of a person so... that helped me out!

the other day i was reflecting in the tube while coming back home.
and i thought that it takes a lot of guts to accept who we are as a person.

it is hard to be who we are. we have to fight two battles, first one within, then one with the outside world.

accepting the fact that we are not perfect, that we are wrong 99% of the time, that we have to really get rid of self if we want to have any chance to be right, and in that case it would not even be because of us but because we received guidance! it is like the total reduction of ego.

totally hard.

on top of that we have to get over the idea that people will think (once we have chosen to stand for what is right, even though we are far from being right) we are hyopcrits.

that requires a lot of courage, because nobody wants to appear as fake or as having double standards.

but at the end we have to just accept that it is a struggle worth living.

i feel there is nothing more hard, testing, painful and at the same time refreshing and memorable for a person than standing for what is right.

all we need is courage.

roaaaaaaaaaar! and there goes my being gentle...

end of 25th post

ShidON

everyone is one

2008-03-06T04:35:00.006+08:00

yesterday i stopped and looked at myself.
and realised i categorize everything.
and more importantly everyone. its as if i am putting a special colured label on people.
do you do it as well?

because i figured it is wrong! i mean i always knew it i guess.

in reality we are all so different! its just that for our tiny brains it is easier to deal with things that way.

well i decided i will bend my brain and will not allow it to put any of you or anyone i see on the street in a certain category!

though i must also say that i think the problem arises because we ourselves want to fit into categories of people... it is easier that way. or we identify in certain group attitudes some of our attitudes...

well i am stating the obvious.
i guess i am part of the OPC (obvious people category)!

in my next post i shall talk about truthfulness!
i also want to talk about accepting who we are, and about being hypocrite.
a lot to talk about!

a big smile from the OPC world

End of 24th post

ShidON

music sounds better with you!

2008-03-04T14:51:00.003+08:00

its 6 52 am.
i am at my mate's place.
since we started fasting i decided i was gonna wake up at 5 30 and walk over to his place for food and prayers. the only thing i don't like is the cold. in fact at 5 30 am, i put jeans and a coat, and in 5 minutes im on the street.
which inevitably means that i will freeze, because my body just woke up.
anyway it is only a 7 minute walk so its all good...

it is actually great to be able to share these moments with someone.
i realise that company in life is something we need.
and as all God-sent things it is something we need to know how to control and have in moderation.

"In all matters moderation is desirable. If a thing is carried to excess, it will prove a source of evil." Baha'u'llah

thats why i feel we all shouldn't socialise excessively. it becomes useless and does not serve its purpouse, which is to grow.
it actually prevents us from growth.

after this lecture (haha) i am going back home.

Only love to all.
That is not in moderation. ive gotta work on it maybe... but maybe i wont...

ShidON

so fast

2008-03-02T05:30:00.002+08:00

hello friends!

I am happy to announce that tomorrow me, as well as many of you, will be fasting!
Baha'is around the world will refrain from eating and drinking from sunrise to sunset for the next 19 days!
It sounds crazy and harsh i know, but it is without a doubt the best 19 days of the year.
And truly you can't understand it until you experience it.
Sure at times it is hard, as time seems not to pass, and the emptiness inside our stomach grows, but the struggle and the fight with ourselves is so uplifting.
Bahai's take the fast as a period of meditation, contemplation, bonding, fellowship and action. It is a time in which we are urged to grow and detach ourselves from this earthly plane.

It is truly magnificent to be able to look around and see people striving together for the same purpouse and reason!

Interestingly enough, fasting inevitably means that we will grow spiritually, but also that we will be eating more quantities of food for 19 days!
In fact dinners are usually a bit of a feast!

I really wish to all of you a wonderful 19 days of fasting, and if you are not able to join us because you are pregnant or you are sick, i truly env..mh... i meant i am truly sorry for you.

Its the spirit that counts no? :)

No kidding now. I love you all.

ShidON

PS; this is my first ever PS on a blog
PPS; my sister and leila started this cool fast themed project. check it out at
http://nineteendays.wordpress.com/
i wish all an inspiring, uplifting, and most importantly hungry, fast!

lemons?

2008-03-01T01:50:00.003+08:00

where to start...?
so i guess the first thing i want to mention is that i met another brother.

Chase Foster.
Awesome man. It surprised me (something which lately does not happen) to see how close you can be to someone without even having spent 24 hours together.

Anyway i just had a great dream last night.

I will not go into details, but it said basically that we should not accept lemons in life(lemons represented, in the dream, outcomes or fruits that were un-important and meaningless).

We should fight for meaning, every second.

I want more than lemons.

ShidON

Number 20

2008-02-28T18:33:00.003+08:00

its my 20th post!!!!
wow!
i am planning to invent a new crazy dance move by the time i get to n100...
that gives me enough time i think...

yesterday i woke up, and this weird feeling was creeping up on me. as if something was meant to happen, something that i had no clue about. i didnt know if it was good or bad, quick or slow, personal or societal.

but nothing did happen. i called my mom, and asked if anything happened in italy.
i asked friends. i checked everywhere. i watched the news.
but nothing happened.

Did anything crazy happen to anyone of you blog readers yesterday?

was it just me who had this strange thought and feeling??
maybe we are all connected and one of you reached my soul.

i know i sound like one of those UFO fans. or anyway someone crazy that way. nothing against UFO hunters....
but the feeling was so real, i cant express it.

i am left now with a feeling of 'uh?' inside me. yes 'uh?' is all i can use to explain it.
two letters, simple, read it as you want to. i think it really expresses the feeling in me.
that dissapointment, and at the same time that knowing that it could have been bad news or events and i am lucky not to know, but then the question mark reconnecting me to my dissapointment for not having understood things.

i wonder...

end of 20th post

ShidON

comforting comfort

2008-02-26T07:43:00.004+08:00

guys, when you are comfortable things are great. we should all want to be comfortable.

comfort is so nice.

i was sitting with my brother (in-law is just a formality) Jalil on these amazing comfortable chairs in a store full of cool items.

those chairs were sweet.

they were massaging my back, my legs, my feet, my hands.

it was so incredible. true comfort. it was just nice. i felt a bit lazy and sick of it but couldnt get up...

i really did not want to leave but when my nephew clearly expressed his un-willingness to stay in the shop (with a big 'AAAAAAA') i had to get up.

and i realised i had lost a lot of my energy. and i was a bit dizzy. and i was just not myself anymore.

so i was actually happy my nephew did scream and shout.

it was true salvation.

so get comfortable and secure, but not too much or you will not be happy.

if you feel too comfortable probably something is wrong.

make sure you have a baby around, so he will tell you to get up!

end of 19th post

ShidON

snow in new york

2008-02-23T22:05:00.004+08:00

i never thought i'd have the privilege in my life to see new york city covered in snow.
yesterday as i woke up in my sisters flat, i saw all was white and all was soft, and cold.
it is such an amazing sight!
i must say that though its cold, i like nyc so much more in the winter rather than in the summer... its just less messy!

as i was looking outside and was seeing the white rooftops, and the footprints of people, i started to think that i wanted to post something.
i havent in one whole week! its just wrong.

yet i do not know what i want to talk about at the moment.
i guess the snow has to melt so the landscape of reason can be clear.
until then i shall not say much!

oh and please, if you leave a comment, which i always appreciate, state who you are!! no anonymous for me!

but remember i am here...
love to all

ShidON

leaving on a jet plane

2008-02-14T16:09:00.004+08:00

i am leaving on a jet plane to boston tomorrow!

Maybe i will post from over there if i find the time!

i really have no idea what to write today. maybe i'll talk about patience since i am trying to be!

you know that feeling you had as a kid when you were waiting for the bus to arrive, or for someone to pick you up?

i remember after judo lessons my mom would usually be 20 minutes late in picking me up... sometimes less, other times more.

while waiting i would kick bottles and stones around and walk up and down the road.

if 20 minutes passed and she still wasn't there, i would start a little guessing game.

i would estimate a number of cars that would pass me, depending on how busy the street was, for example 9, and then would count cars and see if my mom was the 9th car that passed me.

i would play that for a while and never managed to get it right! there is no formula i guess...

then if 30 minutes passed (which happened quite often) i would sit down somewhere and feel grumpy. i would think crazy things in my head, like 'why is she not around?', 'who is more important than me??', 'she better cook some really good food tonight....' and i would feel very upset.

then if another 10 minutes passed, i would start to worry... and wonder what might be a plausible excuse for her being late? it was a bit scary so i didn't give too much thought to that.

but then, far away at the end of the road, i would see those headlights, that i knew so well.

i would pick up my bag, stop all games, and would get ready to board the car with a grumpy face.

and then the door opened and i would hear the most ear-breaking 'hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii' i had ever known.

and that was mom. and that 'hiiiiiiiiiiiiii' so high in pitch would shatter the glass of grumpiness!

and all was fine.

i guess it has to do with patience....and forgiveness... and learning that some things are worth getting upset for, whereas others are just useless...

love to you all..

end of 17th post!

ShidON

fruit falls from the tree

2008-02-13T02:47:00.000+08:00

hello lovely people of the world!

today i was home, i went to university, i felt unchallenged, and i got really bored.
and when i came home for lunch i felt a bit helpless...!
i watched 'juno' which i reccomend to all as i found it really nice.
but i needed something more!
so i started reading, and it really did not do it either.
so i started studying, and that did not make me feel right.

so finally i decided that i would walk outdoors, since it was a nice day in london, and try and share the message of unity that Baha'u'llah, the Messenger of God who established the Bahai Faith, brought to me and the world.
as a Bahai i always want to share this wonderful message that i have discovered, but at times i am scared of how people will look at me. i dont want to annoy anyone.

but since in my heart i felt my intentions were pure and i knew i wasnt going out to convert anyone, i decided to try and talk to people around me.

and it has been so wonderful.
and i came to realise a great thing.

in life we can't always wait for things to hit us.
with purity of motive and cristaline intentions, we need to go and search for the hearts of people and share true love with them.

i am so glad i found the courage to do it.
it is a true blessing to meet so many wonderful souls in our life.

all of a sudden life is again full of meaning!

End of 16th Post

ShidON

think outside the socks

2008-02-09T00:26:00.000+08:00

good day to all!

my house has been invaded and turned upside down by my sister sharim, her husband and my wonderful nephew matisse! its so good!
i found some time to write something today, as i feel i need it.
in particular i wanted to discuss very briefly the concept of creative thinking in realtion to business ethics.

the first thing my business school taught me is that if you want to wear business socks you need to simply follow two rules:

1) make profit
2) make lots of profit

so now, in my final year, after 2 years of talking to me about how to make profits, they bring out issues of social responsibility, and of creativity.

its as if they are saying: "we'll teach and encourage you to find the way to make money... and if you want you can find a creative way to make it all look ethical"

is it possible to be profitable and at the same time ethical and socially responsible?
first of all it has to be said that firms KNOW they have to go the socially repsonsible way if they want to make profits, as consumers are just not going to accept all the un-ethical decisions they take. but this is just a cover-up...

the only way to truly change corporate cultures is by thinking creatively out of the box, or outside of the business socks, and re-establishing what the goals of businesses are.

profits are important if we want to establish successful organizations, but what drives us should be the desire to serve and create a new social reality.
its very difficult, particularly because there are so few examples out there of truly different firms, but i think we should all stand up and try.

that is why i love the holes in my socks.

End of 15th post

ShidON

music...

2008-02-06T08:14:00.000+08:00

as i was going through high school without studying much, i remember i came across this guy called nietzsche.

he said a lot of things i did not understand, a lot of things i did not agree with and i generally regarded him as a big question mark. i still do...
but then as i was looking at quotes on music, i found a quote by nitzi...

'without music, life would be a mistake'

man this guy got that right.

God bless music.

End of this short, musical, phylosophical 14th post

ShidON

oh yeh... its ashkan time...

2008-02-05T02:05:00.000+08:00

Alrighty...
So ashkan goes down as one of the greatest friends in my life.
pure hearted, smart, hard-working, dedicated to improving the world.
he is my man, no doubts!
he is always laughing, and when we are together we are always holding our stomachs in pain.
and we also go off into crazy dances and moves.
we left italy together to go volounteer in Haifa, Israel, at the Bahai World Center, when we were 18.
we now live far from each other, but we are always the same. except he is now studying to become a doctor and he has a lot of "interesting" things to talk about... :)
he is a source of inspiration and of clear thinking.
i would love to live somewhere where i could hang out everyday with him.

except i can't watch a movie with him. he just talks too much during films, which for me is a no no...

even in failure ashkan remains a friend i can rely on...
for example we tried to cook this kenyan dish today. its called ugali... steven otieno, another brother, prepeared this for us when we lived in israel... and we tried hard but did not succeed...
yet we sticked together and supported each other by eating the food...

ok maybe its not a fitting example...
anyways...

i love my true brother tr-ashkan.

end of 13th post!

ShidON

birthday agenda

2008-02-02T19:11:00.000+08:00

it really is a special day i guess... and i have three things to share.

item 1) Gifts

i woke up really early today as i've been doing for the last month really...
and i left my home to meet a friend who prepeared tiramisu for my birthday and wanted to give it to me.... i tried it and its so good... made with love as they say...

but its funny cause all the gifts i received until now have been food based! and i know more delicious things are coming up. and its so nice! i am so happy! you are all so kind!
you make me think that you must really associate shidan with food... but while others would find that a bit weird, i think thats great!

Im proud of it!

item 2) Trees

now onto the second item for the day... as i woke up the sun was shining and the sky was blue, which is quite unusal when you live in london!

its God's gift to me for today...! and i'm sure its making others happy as well...! so thats two gifts!
but as i was on the way to meet my friend, the bus stopped at the traffic light and i had a tree right next to my window.

and i looked at it...

and i noticed it was quite complex, with tiny little branches going everywhere... and i associatedthat with a human being trying to find his way in life, and made many turnes and twists.
and it all felt so complex. so i thought that maybe life was that way, complex.

but since i believe in simplicity, i tried to think of the one thing that could give to that huge mess of branches and twigs a meaning.

and then i realised that its the direction that they point at!!!

they are all going up! they are all pointing at the source of life! the sun!
that was another gift of God for me today!

item 3) The one thing i always do on my birthday

finally, i must talk about one man, who makes my birthday great every year.
and his name is luciano ligabue.
he is my favourite artist, he is italian, and he makes my birthdays special.
the first time i really started apreciating his music was on a trip with my dad to germany so everytime i hear his music i think of that!

listen to this song... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJt-YgJOnPE

Ok once again i hope you are using thes 2nd of Feb to be happy!

ShidON

22

2008-02-02T07:41:00.000+08:00

hey!

today is my birthday (2nd of february)...
i've been searching for a quote that could really give meaning to this moment, but couldn't find it...!
don't get me wrong i believe birthdays are special, i think all of us are here for a reason, and that this is a good enough reason for all to celebrate.
so be happy for your birthdays cause life is a gift... and celebrate your friends cause they are a gift sent to you!

but going back to the idea that there is not much meaning to be given to this birthday, i think i feel this way cause i dont have next to me the people who were there on my real birth day, 22 years ago.
i really associate birthday with family more than with friends i guess...

anyway!
i've been learning detachment in the last few days...
but interestingly at times when i want to think clear and be cool, things come and find me in my sleep...
i guess i need to increase my capacity to be detached then!
that will be my goal, at least on my birthday.
i will be cool.

I wish you all a great, detached, loving, 2nd of Feb.

End of 11th post (22/2=11 WOW)

ShidON

OberTH Vs ShidON

2008-01-31T18:33:00.000+08:00

i don't want time zones to exist.

they have to be there i guess, but if i could choose i wouldn't have them.

i would have something different. probably would build a huge mirror which would reflect the sun when faced towards it, and cover earth when its inbetween our globe and the big fire ball. This way all the earth could be full of light at the same time, and dark at the same time which would mean all things would work differently, i know.

but it would also mean that people would all work and live at the same time around the world. no more jet-lag, no more new-year celebrated at one time somewhere and two hours later somewhere else.

Anyway that is pure genious, but i don't work for NASA and i don't have the money.

But when in the future they build this huge mirror (cause they will), i will have a patent for it. and it will be called, i-mirror.... or e-mirror!

its my idea!

oh.. wait.. i just saw that it was thought of long ago... mr. herman Oberth (it says he was a great mathematician and physicist... someone is smart here eh?) considered it.. check it out at this webpage! http://www.retrofuture.com/weather.html

well... good job to my mate Oberth... but i am the future man!

Farewell!

End of 10th post

ShidON

...simple...

2008-01-30T22:44:00.000+08:00

well hello all!

few, but most definetly all!

this week is a busy one really.. i have a few assignments that i have to hand-in for next week, and i haven't started yet.

I'm gonna start working on them soon, but i don't want to stop posting now...
yesterday someone read my posts out loud to me. it was quite an experience. it gave me a weird feeling, it made me happy.
i think everyone who writes a blog should ask others to read their blog to them.
I realised that i need to learn to express myself better (though in truth i've always known that... highschool essays permenantly returned to me with a 5 out of 10 written in red on them... my teacher was trying to say "you have a brain and some good ideas...Tarzan").
but i also realised that i am managing to do what i initially planned to do, which was to be simple.
it really sounds simple, like a book for children.
is that good? you can answer yourself.
i quite like it that way.
simplicity does it for me now.
maybe one day i'll grow up, and address things in a more mature way...
but for now i'll stick with this style!
i am descovering something about myself.... In the dust of the internet...

Thanks to all of you for your support!

And start your own blog, as i want to read what you have to say!

End of this simple 9th post...

ShidON

new york i love you, but you are freaking me out

2008-01-27T19:02:00.000+08:00

i have this song stuck in my head.

i need to find a solution to get rid of it.

yesterday, if you didnt know it, was australia day. we went to this australian party.

i've never been to australia. i'm pretty sure its amazing!

i mean the beaches, the sea, the hot climate, the animals, pharan :)... i'd love to go.

but if its like what i've seen yesterday please don't buy me a ticket!

Anyways, when i left the party in my typically aussie flip flops and shorts, i went to catch the bus and i got to talk with this awesome dude, called Ali Omar.

He sells corn at the bus stop.

I initially got close to the stall cause i was freezing, and the heat of the steam could help reduce the pain of waiting for the 148.

So we started talking and he made me believe he was from brazil. Then he said he was from africa without specifing which country.

It was cool that way. No need to localize.

His joke allowed me to share the idea that we are all from planet earth, and all come from the same place. He agreed.

And then he told me he was a muslim. And when he mentioned Mohammad, he would always whisper "Blessings be upon Him" or "May peace be upon Him". And he did it also when i said the name of the Messenger. I liked that.

I think there is a light in some people, which is so bright it shines through their eyes. Its love.

We talked only for 20 minutes, not more, but his eyes were shining when he talked of his belief.

He was so in love with his Faith. This heat made me forget the cold feet, and legs.

Corny love kept me warm at the bus stop.

End of 8th post

ShidON

consumer power

2008-01-25T17:23:00.000+08:00

hey all!
yesterday my old man bag, which my sister gave me as a gift in India two years ago, started to fall apart.

My bag had no name, it had no crazy design or special label, but we shared a lot together.
In the last two years we have travelled together to India, Italy, England, Wales, Slovakia, Ecuador, USA, France, Israel. It carried so many different things! Ipod, computer, books, gameboy, camera... and it did all this with UBER style. No kidding. At least im convinced of this!

Its sad. I feel like tom hanks in "Cast away" when he lost Wilson the volleyball (one of the most painful scenes in cinema history).... except i do not live on an island, and my bag is still ok. Its just slightly broken, and i don't need to throw it away.

But for one split second yesterday, i felt like maybe i should buy a new one.

Maybe one with a label, with a cool design, and all the things that apparantly really matter.
I felt power. Consumer Power.
It feels good actually. You feel you can go on a special trip to replace broken things.
Or fill necessities. Or just spend to look better and not out of place.

But after that split second i zoomed back on my little man bag.
And i said, no way man!
This bag was just too special! it was a gift from my styled-up sister, it had been with me everywhere, it was cheap, it was of great quality. In fact in the last two years, while friends had to replace bags because they were breaking, mine had lasted long, and like a soldier in a war it gained value!

I guess this is all a metaphor, and what i want to say is that you should think well before replacing someone, or a feeling, cause at times it will never really work out. Instead fight to fix things, don't give into the consumer beast in you who pushes you to take the easy way out and replace emotions.
At times you'll have to replace, because of necessity, but always give it all you have!
It kinda feels like the first pair of shoes you really consumed, the ones you never would have exchanged even if they had holes, but that your mom, rightly so, secretly threw away because they weren't repearable, and maybe could have harmed you in many ways.

But then inevitably, love pushed you to search the trash.

End of seventh post.

ShidON

happy?

2008-01-23T23:07:00.001+08:00

Well hello all!
I want to share that i am being mocked constantly because of this blog!
I love being mocked... means people care... its their way of saying "hey, you know.. i love you".

Or at least thats why i mock people, cause i love them. I know maybe its not the right thing to do, but anyhow.... if i ever did make fun of you its cause i love you. And to all those who mock and will tell me its not for love, just know that i wont believe you! HAHA!

Today i'll throw in another idea, which again the Baha'i Faith taught me.
The concept of how happiness is a state of being, rather than a feeling we have when associated with nice/funny things, events or people.
Its something internal to us, not a button that is pushed by external agents.
I thought of this when reading a Baha'i prayer, which says

"O God! Refresh and gladden my spirit. Purify my heart. Illumine my powers. I lay all my affairs in Thy hand. Thou art my Guide and my Refuge. I will no longer be sorrowful and grieved; I will be a happy and joyful being"

Well now. Isn't that interesting? I mean i used to associate happiness with being somewhere, or with someone, or doing something. I never had seen it as something i had to work on. In fact it says that we need to work not be sorrowful, but rather to be happy! So now when i feel sad or upset, i know that i can't rely on anything, or anyone, but myself and God to be happy!

This is such a relief for my wallet.

End of sixth post.

ShidON

but not really?

2008-01-21T18:33:00.000+08:00

i am back!
as you all know i've had some friends over this weekend and it has been great.
many memories were brought out of our brains and hearts, they were cleaned up, and finally enjoyed. i guess its like vintage wine... though i don't know what vintage wine tastes like... im guessing its quite good!
the four of us are so different in so many ways. it is evident when we are around each other. but its funny cause, i tell everyone i am a proud italian, but not really, one was a crazy scotsman trying to be a vegetarian, but not really, one was a canadian with a strong belief in healthy eating, but not really, as the first thing he brings to my flat are 4 choccolate bars, and the last was a brasilian doctor, but not really, as he could not fix us all.
so we are quite inconsistent... you would say at least... in reality i think we all realised how diversity is the sweetest thing ever. and how at the same time we are all so similar.
and i think the love we commonly share for our Faith, makes us one, though we all had our ideas of how things are meant to be done...
this was my small, and weird tribute to three great friends who i truly love, and who gave me 4 days of joy.
end of fifth post.

ShidON

week of love

2008-01-15T20:36:00.000+08:00

alright!

So it appears as if i might have to drop the blog for some days now...

But there is a very good reason! three close friends of mine from my year of service in Israel at the Bahai World Center will be visiting!

Also my sister and brother in law, with my little nephew Matisse, will be coming to town!!

It is truly a week of pure love! I am so happy!

Today i really don't know what to talk about. I know what i will be talking about soon though! Being positive vs being negative.. broad i know.. but its something i've been thinking about lately so...

anyway for today i think i will share an idea i had while in Israel.

As i was told the story of how once Baha'u'llah, while in prison, made a funny remark, and uplifted the hearts of all the people around Him, i thought that if God could tell us a joke, it would be without a doubt the perfect joke. It would make EVRYONE laugh, no matter what cultural background, no matter what sex, age or religion. It would be clean, it would be smart... It could potentially make us laugh forever!

I would love to hear Him tell a joke...

So no matter what happens, remember to laugh and smile, cause i'm sure He likes us happy, not sad...

End of fourth post

ShidON

how can we make Him happy?

2008-01-14T18:19:00.000+08:00

i'm not sure i will post every day.
for now it seems as if it is working this way so...
last night i was thinking a lot about life and about what im doing with mine.
as a good friend told me once, there is a saying which goes
"Life is God's gift to you, how you live it is your gift to God"
It sticked with me til today. And i am contemplating how i can really make it that gift.
Its not easy, i realise that for sure.
I guess He is independent of us, but must feel joy when we get things right.
But getting things right is not always the same for everyone.

In a Hidden Word, another work of Baha'u'llah, it says
"be not content with the ease of a passing day, and deprive not thyself of everlasting rest".
i could not get this passage. What does "deprive not thyself of everlasting rest" mean? is He talking of death? Should we try and die? Or is he talking of sleeping all day?

i might like the latter interpretation!

But i think what He is really trying to tell us, is that we need to live every moment, that we should not be happy with time passing and us standing still, and that only when we are active we are actually entering everlasting rest, which is a state of inner peace and tranquility, of true spiritual growth and understnading. It is interesting how being active and resting, are in His words, connected so beutifuly!

so to make our lives a gift to God we need to live them to the best of our capacities, and learn as much as we can from our daily mistakes!
I think we offend God when we do not decide, for good or for bad, because we offend creation's most important aspect, life (Dante)!

i realised one thing lately though. You need sleep. And i'm not saying it cause i am giving in to my lazy self! i think that if you really want to live life and make it outstanding, you need to be awake, you need to think clear, and for me, being tired does not allow for clear thinking!

i wonder what you think...
sleep well tonight
i close the third post.

ShidON

i'm still here

2008-01-13T21:10:00.000+08:00

i am still here!
I can't sleep much lately so this morning i tried to create a header for the blog.
I remembered this picture i took in boston and i think it rocks.. and with the help of two friends i edited it. i am also new to photoshop so...
the title for the blog, ShidON was inspired by a mistake.. or maybe two..
Reason 1) my mom is american. she says shidon instead of shidan, so all my friends at school called me shidon. in my first years in italy i was Shidon. so im going back to my rootes... on a side note, they also called me shidy in italy, which is NOT going to work in english speaking countries, so i had to change that to shido. i still remember, my first week out of italy, a girl asked me what my nickname was. i foolishly, and with a smile, said shidy... it is true that at home we live in a glass wonderworld...
Reason 2) i shot a short film with a group from uni (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6rM_ONWBXQ), and in the credits my name was spelt shidon. first i was annoyed, then i thought it worked since i want to turn on the spiritual side of things. thats why ON...
does that make any sense to you?
i hope so.
see you later.
end of second post.

ShidON

why a blog?

2008-01-13T03:28:00.000+08:00

Hello!

Im sitting here, in front of my computer, trying to find a reason for this blog to exist.

I do not know what i will be writing about, i do not know if tomorrow i will regret it, close the account, and get back to my blogless life.

I know that some reasons for starting this blog are not plausible.

Popularity is not what im aming at. I see bloggers as a bunch of losers and geeks with a talent... i anyways am not part of them really, since writing has never been my skill!

Motivation then is the question for today...

And the only answer i gave myself was by remembering a wonderful book called "The Seven Valleys". In this book, Baha'u'llah, its Author, talks about the journey we all go through in life, a journey which takes us through 7 valleys.

Now the first valley is the valley of search, and it is said that in this one valley, all that really counts is your patience! And it says that you should search for meaning under every stone, in the dust and in all places....

...My thought was that the internet might be one of these... hoping to find more meaning...

i now close the first post.

ShidON