can't blame a lack of inspiration

nearly 2 months.

and my last post wasn't even me but a beautiful quote from Baha'u'llah... definitely better :)

but so much has happened in the last 2 months.

in THE world, and in MY world.

and its so interesting how the two are so connected..

we are 6 billion.. it seems so vast when i say it and think about it.

but amazingly we all play a role in everyone else's life.

i still don't know what my role is.

its funny i was looking at the first intention with which i started this blog.

and it was a good one indeed. 

to search.

but the answer to my search is still an 'i really don't know'.

not an 'i don't know' who i am. 

that one was sorted when i was 17. i still remember that exact moment, place, thoughts, feelings, sensations, and spirit with which i came to know Who made me and where i come from, and really why i am here. this i am sure of.

but my 'i really don't know' refers to the idea of 'will i make it or not'.

will i manage to be strong, to love, to be honest, to be just, to be faithful, to be worthy of the trust of people, to be pure, to be generous, to be guarded in my speech, to be an answer to who needs help, to be a light unto them that walk in darkness, a smile for the sad, a sea for the thirsty, a fruit on the tree of humility?

i think that since coming to china i have learned a lot of new things, and have experienced wonderful moments as well as harder ones... i have changed and grown.

but some deeper things of who i am have yet to make that change... in the sense that this experience is not what will change you.it gives you that chance to see what you need to work on...

a change in setting will not do the trick as i once foolishly believed... rather it just highlighted my limitations.. i guess its good. its a bath in the ever-refreshing sea of humility. i hope i am swimming in it.

hope you all (if any of you are left) are doing well.

love you all.

shidON

I'm a bad blogger...

Not much time really.. love to all. enjoy this. better for you to read Him rather than me. i love this.

ShidON

There was once a lover who had sighed for long years in separation from his beloved, and wasted in the fire of remoteness. From the rule of love, his heart was empty of patience, and his body weary of his spirit; he reckoned life without her as a mockery, and time consumed him away. How many a day he found no rest in longing for her; how many a night the pain of her kept him from sleep; his body was worn to a sigh, his heart's wound had turned him to a cry of sorrow. He had given a thousand lives for one taste of the cup of her presence, but it availed him not. The doctors knew no cure for him, and companions avoided his company; yea, physicians have no medicine for one sick of love, unless the favor of the beloved one deliver him.

At last, the tree of his longing yielded the fruit of despair, and the fire of his hope fell to ashes. Then one night he could live no more, and he went out of his house and made for the marketplace. On a sudden, a watchman followed after him. He broke into a run, with the watchman following; then other watchmen came together, and barred every passage to the weary one. And the wretched one cried from his heart, and ran here and there, and moaned to himself: "Surely this watchman is Izra'il, my angel of death, following so fast upon me; or he is a tyrant of men, seeking to harm me." His feet carried him on, the one bleeding with the arrow of love, and his heart lamented. Then he came to a garden wall, and with untold pain he scaled it, for it proved very high; and forgetting his life, he threw himself down to the garden.

And there he beheld his beloved with a lamp in her hand, searching for a ring she had lost. When the heart-surrendered lover looked on his ravishing love, he drew a great breath and raised up his hands in prayer, crying: "O God! Give Thou glory to the watchman, and riches and long life. For the watchman was Gabriel, guiding this poor one; or he was Israfil, bringing life to this wretched one!"

Indeed, his words were true, for he had found many a secret justice in this seeming tyranny of the watchman, and seen how many a mercy lay hid behind the veil. Out of wrath, the guard had led him who was athirst in love's desert to the sea of his loved one, and lit up the dark night of absence with the light of reunion. He had driven one who was afar, into the garden of nearness, had guided an ailing soul to the heart's physician.

Now if the lover could have looked ahead, he would have blessed the watchman at the start, and prayed on his behalf, and he would have seen that tyranny as justice; but since the end was veiled to him, he moaned and made his plaint in the beginning. Yet those who journey in the garden land of knowledge, because they see the end in the beginning, see peace in war and friendliness in anger.

Baha'u'llah

dream world

'Consider thy state when asleep. Verily, I say, this phenomenon is the most mysterious of the signs of God amongst men, were they to ponder it in their hearts.' 

Baha'u'llah                  

Now i am no teacher or scholar or anything like that. But i encourage all of you to go pick up your copy of 'The Gleanings' (if you have one good, if not google it) and read quote LXXIX.

Baha'u'llah tells us in this passage of the infinite worlds that exist in creation. 

He says that they 'are countless in their number, and infinite in their range' 

He says that dreams are just one of these infinite worlds...

And then He goes on to explain the nature of dreams.. of how they are part of who we are and also a sign of God's generosity to man, because they allow us to transcend this life.

He tells us that dreams can in another world and in mysterious ways tell us about the future.

They are a world as concrete as the one we breathe and live in.

He tells us that 'the creation of God embraceth worlds besides this world, and creatures apart from these creatures'

I guess it means that other creatures are given other insights into creation.. maybe not through dreams! who knows!! exciting eh? i wonder what our alien brothers are like!

all i am trying to say is that we should cherish our dreams cause they are a gift of God and a way to get a deeper understanding of life. so when you have one, dig into it and understand what its saying. also if it is not a pleasant one! just look into it. maybe its telling you that you need to change! 

get rid of ego because it is what brings us down! in fact Baha'u'llah also says at the end of the tablet that He does not go deeper into explanations of the worlds because of how mankind behaved!

finally it says that we should meditate on what Baha'u'llah tells us in this tablet so that we may discover the purpose of God... wow. what does this mean? any ideas?

dreaming

ShidON

Sunshine Everywhere!

I come from italy. I have lived in china for 1 month now...
I told a friend last night! and he said that if after 1 month i am still fine with life here, it means that i will have to stay for a long time. This is my hope as all of you know! So let's see where all of this goes. 

My name is You Shi Dan (Honest Dawn). Who knows me, knows that it is a bit over the top :)

My name is really not giving a good picture of who i am i guess.

Rather i think my name is my hope, my wish and my desire for life... to be truthful in my intentions and in my actions... i am still far from it... oh so far.

Furthermore, as imperfect as i am, i just want to be surrounded by Sunshine.

"When a man turns his face to God, he finds Sunshine Everywhere"

          Abdu'l-Baha'                          

To be surrounded by Sunshine there is only one thing to do and that is to forget self.

To get rid of all those attitudes in life that push us to be 'individuals'... and to become part of this unifying life and creation!

It is such a hard task. But it is something we must strive for.

I am writing about these ideas because although i am living in a new place, where many challenges are represented by adapting and embracing new realities, the challenge of selflessness and honesty always accompanies me.

I hope that the few who read this post will look inside their hearts and think about what their face is looking at! And if they do not see Sunshine then they should change direction or tear down the walls that keep them away from it!

ShidON

its getting cold!

Its getting cold in Beijing!

Riding my bike is not a sticky situation anymore... and as animals are looking for warm places to relax, a few things have been going on....

a) Yesterday i was in my first bike crash! A scooter ran into my back wheel as i was turning and it bent it 90*. I did not get hurt at all. But it is a very funny situation this one. 

In the middle of a small intersection with a destroyed bike. I look at the guy on the scooter (not chinese) and i smile at him. He looks absolutely devastated. I was afraid he might have gotten hurt or something. So i ask him... 

'Are YOU ok?' 

and he does not answer... his eyes are big and head is shaking...so once again i ask him

'Did YOU get hurt?'

some seconds pass.. which when you are in the middle of an intersection seem like minutes! and then i hear him whispering

'i'm so sorry....'

I told him not to worry, that i'd get it fixed and that the important thing is that no one got hurt. So as he goes away and i start carrying my bike to the workshop, i thought that in reality all of this scene needed to be performed the other way around and that me and the guy seemed to have confused which lines we had to say in the script of life. 

He should have asked the questions and i should have been speechless!

Anyway the bike (i have to still give her a name, but it must have something to do with a lady who has been through a lot in life, and through a lot of plastic surgery as well) is ok!

But the whole situation happened 5 minutes before class which meant i had to run!!!

b) ...clearly if you read point A you will know that i am about to talk about chinese class!

It was such a cool experience. 

We had 4 hours of class which felt really like 2. 

No, not because its easy or because its fascinating, but because the first 2 hr class was all in chinese :)  we started learning some tones and some words in chinese which is always interesting.

The last two hours were with a teacher who spoke english and was teaching us about chinese characters and how they evolved throughout the centuries, and it was interesting to see how some of these characters make no sense... 

it made me think that language evolution at times goes through people who have no clue what they are doing.

And i thought that this is happening as we speak today! MSN users and text messengers are changing the future world! And it made me think that though today words or abbreviates such as MIRL, PLO or GSOH are (possibly) understandable (i had to look them up at netlingo.com) , in some centuries someone like me today will look back and say 'how did they get to that!?'... LOL

Ok, this was so exciting and i can't wait to have my second lesson today! 

now i've got to go do some homework!

BRB

ShidON

My Bike Is Fast

I got a Bike more or less a week ago and promised it that my next post would be about how fast and cool it is.

It is actually so cool that i am always expecting it not to be there after i park it and chain it up outside my house at night...

It is quite fast though today i had to bring it to be repaired already as the left pedal was just a little bit weak...

Also i came to realize one important thing... obeying street rules in China with your bike will only be a cause of harm! I guess you become the X factor in a very difficult and complex equation (the street) which people do not know how to relate to..

The first hour going around the city was an hour in which i caused distress to other fellow bikers. I guess they are not used to rules. So finally when a man collided with an older lady because i was doing the right thing by staying on my side of the road, i decided i had enough of the rules and that it was probably safer for me and others to just be part of the madness!

Which is so much fun! Actually i fit in pretty well i must say!.. But don't worry im careful!

So now i have a request! My bike is all black (you can see it in the pic) and pretty but it needs some extra kudos to gain respect on the road..

So I am asking you all to please think of how we can fix my bike up! I want suggestions! Do you have any cool sticker you would like to send to me to put on? Or anything i can attach to my bike anywhere? Please suggest! I am open!

So many cool things are happening around here, and i am making some really nice friends!

Campus is so beautiful! And i started playing football with some friends! So it seems as if things are working out well slowly!

I've seen some beautiful places and i am scared of how much this all feels like home..

i belong.

ShidON

love is the strongest adhesive!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMbbtiXPqGo

its just universal you know?

you can go to any country in the world, and as much as they may differ, love is just the strongest force!

It is said in the Baha'i Faith that love is the energy that holds the atoms and molecules together in the universe... which means we are all here because of love!

This has great implications for all of us! It means that if we dislike someone, the problem is within us, because love is there, that connection is and will always be there.

We are all connected through love, but we have to work to maintain that connection strong and not let the transitory things of this short life get in the way of who we love!

This post is for all those who remember every day that this connection exists, and who fight for love. 

Who see distance as a unique opportunity to englobe more into their network of love.

Who believe that 'where there is love there is always time'

Who are not uncomfortable with cheesy words, because they mean them.

Who, though hurt, and upset, will agree to change.

This post was inspired by the thought of my 'dumb' cousin Roshan who, unfortunately, i love with all my heart :)

ShidON