Thursday, February 28, 2008

Number 20

its my 20th post!!!!
i am planning to invent a new crazy dance move by the time i get to n100...
that gives me enough time i think...

yesterday i woke up, and this weird feeling was creeping up on me. as if something was meant to happen, something that i had no clue about. i didnt know if it was good or bad, quick or slow, personal or societal.

but nothing did happen. i called my mom, and asked if anything happened in italy.
i asked friends. i checked everywhere. i watched the news.
but nothing happened.

Did anything crazy happen to anyone of you blog readers yesterday?

was it just me who had this strange thought and feeling??
maybe we are all connected and one of you reached my soul.

i know i sound like one of those UFO fans. or anyway someone crazy that way. nothing against UFO hunters....
but the feeling was so real, i cant express it.

i am left now with a feeling of 'uh?' inside me. yes 'uh?' is all i can use to explain it.
two letters, simple, read it as you want to. i think it really expresses the feeling in me.
that dissapointment, and at the same time that knowing that it could have been bad news or events and i am lucky not to know, but then the question mark reconnecting me to my dissapointment for not having understood things.

i wonder...

end of 20th post


Tuesday, February 26, 2008

comforting comfort

guys, when you are comfortable things are great. we should all want to be comfortable.
comfort is so nice.

i was sitting with my brother (in-law is just a formality) Jalil on these amazing comfortable chairs in a store full of cool items.
those chairs were sweet.
they were massaging my back, my legs, my feet, my hands.
it was so incredible. true comfort. it was just nice. i felt a bit lazy and sick of it but couldnt get up...
i really did not want to leave but when my nephew clearly expressed his un-willingness to stay in the shop (with a big 'AAAAAAA') i had to get up.
and i realised i had lost a lot of my energy. and i was a bit dizzy. and i was just not myself anymore.

so i was actually happy my nephew did scream and shout.
it was true salvation.
so get comfortable and secure, but not too much or you will not be happy.
if you feel too comfortable probably something is wrong.
make sure you have a baby around, so he will tell you to get up!

end of 19th post


Saturday, February 23, 2008

snow in new york

i never thought i'd have the privilege in my life to see new york city covered in snow.
yesterday as i woke up in my sisters flat, i saw all was white and all was soft, and cold.
it is such an amazing sight!
i must say that though its cold, i like nyc so much more in the winter rather than in the summer... its just less messy!

as i was looking outside and was seeing the white rooftops, and the footprints of people, i started to think that i wanted to post something.
i havent in one whole week! its just wrong.

yet i do not know what i want to talk about at the moment.
i guess the snow has to melt so the landscape of reason can be clear.
until then i shall not say much!

oh and please, if you leave a comment, which i always appreciate, state who you are!! no anonymous for me!

but remember i am here...
love to all


Thursday, February 14, 2008

leaving on a jet plane

i am leaving on a jet plane to boston tomorrow!

Maybe i will post from over there if i find the time!
i really have no idea what to write today. maybe i'll talk about patience since i am trying to be!

you know that feeling you had as a kid when you were waiting for the bus to arrive, or for someone to pick you up?

i remember after judo lessons my mom would usually be 20 minutes late in picking me up... sometimes less, other times more.
while waiting i would kick bottles and stones around and walk up and down the road.
if 20 minutes passed and she still wasn't there, i would start a little guessing game.
i would estimate a number of cars that would pass me, depending on how busy the street was, for example 9, and then would count cars and see if my mom was the 9th car that passed me.

i would play that for a while and never managed to get it right! there is no formula i guess...

then if 30 minutes passed (which happened quite often) i would sit down somewhere and feel grumpy. i would think crazy things in my head, like 'why is she not around?', 'who is more important than me??', 'she better cook some really good food tonight....' and i would feel very upset.
then if another 10 minutes passed, i would start to worry... and wonder what might be a plausible excuse for her being late? it was a bit scary so i didn't give too much thought to that.
but then, far away at the end of the road, i would see those headlights, that i knew so well.

i would pick up my bag, stop all games, and would get ready to board the car with a grumpy face.
and then the door opened and i would hear the most ear-breaking 'hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii' i had ever known.
and that was mom. and that 'hiiiiiiiiiiiiii' so high in pitch would shatter the glass of grumpiness!

and all was fine.

i guess it has to do with patience....and forgiveness... and learning that some things are worth getting upset for, whereas others are just useless...

love to you all..

end of 17th post!


Wednesday, February 13, 2008

fruit falls from the tree

hello lovely people of the world!

today i was home, i went to university, i felt unchallenged, and i got really bored.
and when i came home for lunch i felt a bit helpless...!
i watched 'juno' which i reccomend to all as i found it really nice.
but i needed something more!
so i started reading, and it really did not do it either.
so i started studying, and that did not make me feel right.

so finally i decided that i would walk outdoors, since it was a nice day in london, and try and share the message of unity that Baha'u'llah, the Messenger of God who established the Bahai Faith, brought to me and the world.
as a Bahai i always want to share this wonderful message that i have discovered, but at times i am scared of how people will look at me. i dont want to annoy anyone.

but since in my heart i felt my intentions were pure and i knew i wasnt going out to convert anyone, i decided to try and talk to people around me.

and it has been so wonderful.
and i came to realise a great thing.

in life we can't always wait for things to hit us.
with purity of motive and cristaline intentions, we need to go and search for the hearts of people and share true love with them.

i am so glad i found the courage to do it.
it is a true blessing to meet so many wonderful souls in our life.

all of a sudden life is again full of meaning!

End of 16th Post


Saturday, February 9, 2008

think outside the socks

good day to all!

my house has been invaded and turned upside down by my sister sharim, her husband and my wonderful nephew matisse! its so good!
i found some time to write something today, as i feel i need it.
in particular i wanted to discuss very briefly the concept of creative thinking in realtion to business ethics.

the first thing my business school taught me is that if you want to wear business socks you need to simply follow two rules:

1) make profit
2) make lots of profit

so now, in my final year, after 2 years of talking to me about how to make profits, they bring out issues of social responsibility, and of creativity.

its as if they are saying: "we'll teach and encourage you to find the way to make money... and if you want you can find a creative way to make it all look ethical"

is it possible to be profitable and at the same time ethical and socially responsible?
first of all it has to be said that firms KNOW they have to go the socially repsonsible way if they want to make profits, as consumers are just not going to accept all the un-ethical decisions they take. but this is just a cover-up...

the only way to truly change corporate cultures is by thinking creatively out of the box, or outside of the business socks, and re-establishing what the goals of businesses are.

profits are important if we want to establish successful organizations, but what drives us should be the desire to serve and create a new social reality.
its very difficult, particularly because there are so few examples out there of truly different firms, but i think we should all stand up and try.

that is why i love the holes in my socks.

End of 15th post


Wednesday, February 6, 2008


as i was going through high school without studying much, i remember i came across this guy called nietzsche.

he said a lot of things i did not understand, a lot of things i did not agree with and i generally regarded him as a big question mark. i still do...
but then as i was looking at quotes on music, i found a quote by nitzi...

'without music, life would be a mistake'

man this guy got that right.

God bless music.

End of this short, musical, phylosophical 14th post


Tuesday, February 5, 2008

oh yeh... its ashkan time...

So ashkan goes down as one of the greatest friends in my life.
pure hearted, smart, hard-working, dedicated to improving the world.
he is my man, no doubts!
he is always laughing, and when we are together we are always holding our stomachs in pain.
and we also go off into crazy dances and moves.
we left italy together to go volounteer in Haifa, Israel, at the Bahai World Center, when we were 18.
we now live far from each other, but we are always the same. except he is now studying to become a doctor and he has a lot of "interesting" things to talk about... :)
he is a source of inspiration and of clear thinking.
i would love to live somewhere where i could hang out everyday with him.

except i can't watch a movie with him. he just talks too much during films, which for me is a no no...

even in failure ashkan remains a friend i can rely on...
for example we tried to cook this kenyan dish today. its called ugali... steven otieno, another brother, prepeared this for us when we lived in israel... and we tried hard but did not succeed...
yet we sticked together and supported each other by eating the food...

ok maybe its not a fitting example...

i love my true brother tr-ashkan.

end of 13th post!


Saturday, February 2, 2008

birthday agenda

it really is a special day i guess... and i have three things to share.

item 1) Gifts

i woke up really early today as i've been doing for the last month really...
and i left my home to meet a friend who prepeared tiramisu for my birthday and wanted to give it to me.... i tried it and its so good... made with love as they say...

but its funny cause all the gifts i received until now have been food based! and i know more delicious things are coming up. and its so nice! i am so happy! you are all so kind!
you make me think that you must really associate shidan with food... but while others would find that a bit weird, i think thats great!

Im proud of it!

item 2) Trees

now onto the second item for the day... as i woke up the sun was shining and the sky was blue, which is quite unusal when you live in london!

its God's gift to me for today...! and i'm sure its making others happy as well...! so thats two gifts!
but as i was on the way to meet my friend, the bus stopped at the traffic light and i had a tree right next to my window.

and i looked at it...

and i noticed it was quite complex, with tiny little branches going everywhere... and i associatedthat with a human being trying to find his way in life, and made many turnes and twists.
and it all felt so complex. so i thought that maybe life was that way, complex.

but since i believe in simplicity, i tried to think of the one thing that could give to that huge mess of branches and twigs a meaning.

and then i realised that its the direction that they point at!!!

they are all going up! they are all pointing at the source of life! the sun!
that was another gift of God for me today!

item 3) The one thing i always do on my birthday

finally, i must talk about one man, who makes my birthday great every year.
and his name is luciano ligabue.
he is my favourite artist, he is italian, and he makes my birthdays special.
the first time i really started apreciating his music was on a trip with my dad to germany so everytime i hear his music i think of that!

listen to this song...

Ok once again i hope you are using thes 2nd of Feb to be happy!




today is my birthday (2nd of february)...
i've been searching for a quote that could really give meaning to this moment, but couldn't find it...!
don't get me wrong i believe birthdays are special, i think all of us are here for a reason, and that this is a good enough reason for all to celebrate.
so be happy for your birthdays cause life is a gift... and celebrate your friends cause they are a gift sent to you!

but going back to the idea that there is not much meaning to be given to this birthday, i think i feel this way cause i dont have next to me the people who were there on my real birth day, 22 years ago.
i really associate birthday with family more than with friends i guess...

i've been learning detachment in the last few days...
but interestingly at times when i want to think clear and be cool, things come and find me in my sleep...
i guess i need to increase my capacity to be detached then!
that will be my goal, at least on my birthday.
i will be cool.

I wish you all a great, detached, loving, 2nd of Feb.

End of 11th post (22/2=11 WOW)